World's Most Pointless Sport

Unless you live under a rock, you have Gmail. Or you know someone who does. So you get links to news stories above your inbox, and sometimes, the headline is interesting enough to grab you and make you click the link. This one got me: Eriksson departs Manchester City.

The links Gmail sends my way do this all the time. They string words and names together in such a way that you can't help but think they're meant to signify something. Take this one. If it said "Bush departs D.C.," that would make sense, even though it doesn't explain who Bush is or what D.C. is, because, well, one can take judicial notice, so to speak. But who the hell is Eriksson? Where (or what) is Manchester City? What the hell is this story even about? I figured it was about soccer, because whenever Gmail throws an incomprehensible headline at me, it's always about soccer. Well, read that article. It never actually tells you what its relevance is. It never chimes in with "Oh by the way this is about a soccer team" to end the confusion.

Screw you, CNN. Screw you, Gmail. I will not be duped into thinking soccer is relevant or in any way interesting or heterosexual, and thousands of confusing links will never change that.