Botched Jerk

My father was a marine. I am insanely proud of him for it, and respect him for his service. I did not follow in his path, choosing instead to concentrate on college and a career, but that does not in the least temper my respect and adoration for this great man.

Verny's father was also a marine. I can assure you that he feels very similarly towards his father in terms of pride and respect. Verny chose law school over service, but I can guarantee he is one of the Corps' biggest supporters.

That being said, I feel that we are allowed to take offense with Kerry's recent remarks. Neither of our fathers served in Iraq, but follow the reasoning here. Who is "stuck" in Iraq? The military. It takes absolutely no deductive insight to see who Kerry is attacking here. As our fathers were a part of the military, I find myself very offended by Kerry's remarks.

But the kicker was how Kerry defended himself in his press conference yesterday. Originally he said:

Education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq.

He passed it off yesterday, saying:

My statement yesterday -- and the White House knows this full well -- was a botched joke about the president and the president's people, not about the troops.

Ahhh yes. I see. So, when he says "Soldiers are stupid," he really means "How many George Bush people does it take to change a light bulb?" Well, I don't quite buy it. If I disagree with the chief of police over his methods for protecting my city, do I hold a press conference and announce I will abduct and rape his daughter? I mean, I am just making a joke about his failed policies, right? And he should know it full well.

In Kerry's "statement" yesterday, while never apologizing for his rotten remarks, he managed to squeeze in the following Democrat gems:

• broken policy


• failed team


• [White House's] abject failure


• willingness to distort


• willingness to mislead Americans


• willingness to exploit the troops


• not told ... the truth


• classic GOP textbook Republican campaign tactic


• despicable Republicans


• Republican attacks


• people who never wore the uniform


• never had the courage to stand up and go to war themselves


• Rush Limbaugh


• Michael J. Fox


• Katrina


• unwilling to have a coalition


• Republicans are afraid to stand up and debate a real veteran

That's a nice fun sample. I was going to put asterisks after items that he offered with no proof, but why bother? He offered no proof on anything. Why wear out my asterisks budget for the year?

The moral of the story is, Kerry was tricked into slamming the "uneducated troops" by "despicable Republicans and Rush Limbaugh (when he isn't attacking Fox) by attacking without ever wearing the uniform during Katrina." Or something.

I can take away two things from this. First, thank God Kerry couldn't possibly become President now; second, the GOP's chances in the upcoming election suddenly look brighter. Kerry could often moan about the Republicans having an October Surprise; I bet he would have never guessed he would be it!