Absolut-ly Stupid

All right, so, there's this Absolut ad that everyone is talking about.

Here:



First, I think the shareholders of Absolut (or whatever the parent corporation is, don't make me look up the relationships) should be scared to death of this ad. What Absolut is saying, essentially, is that in its ideal world, tequila would be king of the liquor world. It's a trademark's suicide note we are reading, folks!

Second, the, uh, redistricting plan offered by Absolut here seems a perfect solution to the growing problem of the growing Ninth Circuit. Let Mexico deal with asinine judges who can't follow the law! Our Supreme Court can then go about its business deciding hard cases instead of constantly having to overturn, unanimously, the legal conceits of a bloated body of wannabe Platonic Guardians.

Third, do you know what Absolut said?

In no way was this meant to offend or disparage, nor does it advocate an altering of borders, nor does it lend support to any anti-American sentiment, nor does it reflect immigration issues.

Oh, ok. How is that rock you are under is it comfy please reply.

Fourth, it's spelled "absolute," you fools. Misspellings do not equal automatic awesome sauce. See Zatarian's, Inc. v. Oak Grove Smokehouse, Inc., 698 F.2d 786 (5th Cir. 1983) (noting that, indeed, "Absolut" is a dumbass name for a vodka).