The NFL Network sucks

The NYT is only half wrong, for once.

The NFL network has a problem - its production of games absolutely sucks. It's not a bad network overall (because the others all suck worse), but it cannot produce a live NFL game to save its life. The biggest problem is the inane commentary from the two morons in the booth - Cris "Race-Baiting" Collinsworth and Bryant "Tanking Career" Gumbel (yes, that Bryant Gumbel). Both are self-assured and completely wrong. As the Internet teaches us, this is a monster of a combo.

Like I said, the NYT is only half wrong - it manages to cite some Gumbel blunders but then verbally fellates Collinsworth for some reason:

They heard someone who shouldn’t be in this seat, not beside Cris Collinsworth, who has proved through his work on the NFL Network, NBC and HBO that he is the best N.F.L. analyst around.

He also worked for Fox; I guess having your panties in a bunch over the entire Fox empire trumps actually reporting the facts. Or maybe the Times is actually recalling Collinsworth's tasteless racial remarks while at Fox, and realizing that whatever integrity he may have earned now (which, oddly enough, is none, so I'm not sure why they're praising him; gay crush?) is overwhelmed by his bone-headedness early in his career.

The NFL Network also sucks at replaying games. Lots of things are done well; the meaningless parts are excised and the whole thing is sped up to fit in a ninety-minute slot. The bad part is that if you're watching the replayed game because you missed it live and want to watch it for the first time, the NFL will completely spoil it for you. They don't actually come out and say, "Hey, why are you watching this crap? New York wins, idiot! Haha! Also Vader is Luke's father." Instead, when important plays happen, a little window will open with postgame commentary from coaches and players. When, say, New York completes a 50-yard pass in the second quarter of a close game, it's certainly good for them, but not game-winning. However, when the coach says, "And that was the play that turned it around for us," you can go ahead and change the channel. The NFL Network just spoiled its own f-ing game and basically peed in your coffee, hit on your wife, and dared you to watch something else.

Thanks, I think I will.